Scenery and Fish

(instrumental)

Can't think a straight line beyond the hill
It seems like a mountain next to an ocean behind
A thrill almost in my reach
If there's a way I could
Feel the face of intelligence
I'm a man, I would understand
What a good head says...you're no me
Can't see the forest for all
The green, it all gets in my way
Can't dig a desert without
The need for old religion, for holy grails
And a Jesus nail through the head
For all the pain and misguided faith
My mind erased before I had time
To waste my afternoon

Every thirty days a light goes on
And brightens my backyard a yellow
Dying sun
I bite my tongue and swallow pride and blood
On some other plane I have
Become affected drawn and strange
I'm inclined to blame
My Mother for dressing me like a girl
I don't know maybe that's kind of weird
A teenage breakdown without the will
Or without thinking
Taking low roads and coloured pills
Always searching
Maybe then I would find 
A place in this mess
It swells a vein that the only things
That are keeping me awake
Are re-runs of the Mod Squad and cartoons

One more astronaut in black skin
Of universe
One more travellin' man
With heavy tired eyes, feeling cold
Thinking around the clock of drinking
On the job, of the powdered food
And piss bags, never having sex and growing old

Headspace...alive and painless,
Weightless and almost sane
I close my eyes, I become the sky
Headspace...alone and shameless
Can't wait to find the faces
I left behind in a troubled time
Back home
It gets so lonely you know
Weeks and months alone chasing
Sleep and space junk and the dying
Stars I've known and loved
Through true decline
Of the five billion minds or so
Through mudslides
And earthquakes, the blue one holds
And rolls along
One more astronaut in
Endless old universe with 
One more second chance at
Wondering why he's here at all
Bold are the ones who
Come over the line to fall over
The horizon...never ones to fade away
Then it hit me, this
Cosmic pull and energy
It kinda makes me wonder
If I'll ever make it
Back home

Sunday...
Always hard to get to sleep when
Weird noises are implying threats
On cold sheets I sweat
On any other day
It's all rest and flowers
And a long night of nothing
In the morning some coffee
'Cause when the sun goes
Down you close your eyes and think 
That you might wake in the same place
I'm out of my head
That was what they said
There was no way I would
Ever trust again
There's something that fills you up
And it feels you up and then
It takes control of your better sense
There ain't no control of things
You take for granted
But they came and they
Held me up and they felt me up
And left...I miss them

Take me to your world
I want to know if I belong
There instead of here
Is there religion?
It is unordinary 
To want this affection
But I don't have a real friend
And I hate my whole family
But from my bed, my window's 
Lit by a red light
I have seen before, while floating away

The poetry of this hangover
I don't want to think, not
Too hard anyway
The scenery and fish, they're bad
Take another breath, another look and swallow
Holding the hand of hard times
And fallout
It could be worse...my star could fall

Pacified by little things
Tones of beige and green seem
To halt a scream in waiting
All red eyes, all heads thinking
No one says anything I can
Hear down here on the floor
Where I belong
Too young to find the horses
Too young fighting causes
I get overwhelmed
And I feel three days old
Another day goes and fails
The people lose control just 'cause 
Things are going slow
Your corduroy coat has left you
Just when you're feeling the wind
And cold
Then comes a rain of old thoughts
That always have to wreck my high
And bring me down
You and I are not the same
You like everything
Arms wave in a spin, blown by
Things I've hated, I've faded to the point
Where I'm not all there
Curled up on the floor
Where I belong

It's pretty good, the wine
The way that we look at
Ten to eight in the morning
Just talking, still awake in
Dawn and dew drinking, thinking 
Always...

Remembering the laughs, the time
We got high for seven days down
In New Orleans and it seemed like
No one else knew we were just
The moon and sun in fog before the
Heat burned it away and took 
The sleep from tired heads on
Beds of reaching hands, of road trip
Breath and long tall freedom
And then you long
For the days of trippin' down
The long road just reading the
Signs that show you the way to
A higher place you meditate to
Feel the quiet of the earth
That was back
When we used to be alright
Another shame, the way
The city smells worse on
A hot day in August...2 PM
Right before us good movers
Move and us shakers break
Our hearts getting home to 
Country love and the garbage
Dump by the dried up creek
Near the forest that once had life
And then I turn on the news
Somebody shoot me soon
I'm tired of over heating, falling
Quick to bending knees and
Broken veins, of always needing
Faith to get to shore and break
All the vows I've made
No time or presence 
Of mind to wonder why
No time for questions of
Why I wonder why
Something's wrong...again
The noise shakes the ground
There's a rage in
The crowd and I'm a face
In the crowd, what's your name?
You're sinkin' in the sand
Standing next to me, a river
Running through your pants, afraid
To trust me when my hands 
Are helping you

Between the doors, shakin' heads and thinking
Light about who you're with, where you are
Blue lightning hittin' trees and lighting
Roads won't let me get too down 'cause
Sometimes you can be let down

You move on ahead in quicksand
And you hope you're still goin' east boy
It's dreamy all day drives and short parades
And I won't let it mess with my head
Just grin and live it
While you can...with wonderment
With eyes wide open
I'm taking in all I can
The small town darkness
Is singing by
In trance...I'm feeling glad
You and your friends drink, laugh
And pass out, keeping good things close
Fought till the end, it's hard to keep it all fun
I won't let it mess with my head
Won't let it mess with 
Sleeping friends or their wonderment
Though the day's been really long
I still feel I'm close to nowhere
And I wouldn't let no one take my place
A warm bed, in my head I can see
The tidal wave of disappointment
See the lights shining over there
Through the night I am on the way

Lost all my friends pulling down my
Pants just to say hi and I'm still
Alive without a tan, trippin', naked man,
Through the forest who like me
Has fallen right into a kind of grace
Drinking from a river of fine wine just
To ease my mind, then fell on through
The hole I've made looking for a center
In my life and just why I am

I woke in the grass fascinated with
Moving water and the smell of my breath
Rampaging ants carry me to death or a last
Chance and a swing for the fence, instead I
Hit the bottom hard and wide looking for 
Escape from the daylight and the passing time
Digging just to find a way someone like me
Gets in the right line for the right ride
At just the right time, hoping it doesn't take
Too long to find a way...
And I hope there's a sign
I hope that it leads me well
On the way
I hope there's a sign
And I hope I can read it right
I'm running on, over and lower
It's slow going half the time
I hope there's a sign
And I hope I can read it right
It seems I've had a lifelong headcold full
Of negatives, mindwarps and eclipsing suns
Like hot air through my underwear while
Sitting in my chocolate chair at home...
It thrills me, turn the lights out and leave
Me alone

Held in hands, a warm cup
Of skin always taken in by peers
And friends and the heightened fears
Over the years
Now I know I'm not like everyone

In this head I see the ground
You came from, unknown, undug
From where you were staying in
A backyard bed until
We came together
Raspberry, in my hand
You feel alright but I don't
Know if I am
I can't change
What I am right now, but
I'll be fine in the next life
I know I can say, I'm honest
With myself and with
My red tasty gem
And sure they will try, but
They can't take away
My secret loving friend
And on a good day, my mind
Is like the country...green wide open
A breath of zen that's nice
On the eyes, lonely, without a prayer
Take the trip that I have 
I am at risk
But I guess you know...
Explosions
From the goldfish bowl
Visions
Of blue girls crying stars
The more the garden sings
The harder it gets to stay in
There are a lot of choices
So many voices ruling me
So many of them at once
Yelling, "Everything's a mess"...I know

Wide awake in the candlelight
Stoned straight, crashing
Ocean wave patterns and sunset
In their prime
Shoulder demons tell me
How to lie when it matters
And you better hope
That you see it coming

Painted grey and blurry
I am waiting for the sock to drop
Yes I can fake it, hide, run away
When there's nothing left to know...nothing
Lonely like a living room
Hallway noises and interviews
Squeeze the globe in between
Your legs and hope God knows
When to show his face when it matters
And you better hope
That you're feeling something
Pained by the worry
I am stained by the learning
Of what I can't feel, see, think, undo
I'm going to Mexico where there's 
Nothing but the sun...nothing
The four walls entertaining
Me are symbols of my contentment
Of mental and legal poverty
Nine out of ten can't be wrong
I have never learned
The secret of velocity
As I expand I feel small
I have nothing left
That I can draw from
I have nothing left...nothing

There they are
Alive, on the move, pretty young,
Still unproven though they love
Restless young zeroes in a haze
Of reckless blind faith taking their
Own sweet time to write and rhyme
Their ending

Are you happy when we're down
Hey I was gonna ask you that
Just now and yes I am,
Yes, I can dig true meaning from
Your believing and feel alright
They'll drift and flow
And take their chances
All white humming flesh and bone
In souls they don't own
How can they not know it ain't
Good being old with nothing
Left to show
But they have each other
There might be a goodbye him to her
When time becomes their leveller...and it will
Ecstatic young searchers who've come
To love just what they are
And what they may become...or whatever
The magic in chaotic scenes
In the sun and the music in
The whine and stink, the uneven
Sounds of summer
Fabulous bad memories, but there's
Something alright about having these together
Too young lives of sleep,
Of violence and love alive
In astral days soon lost
In the rush
If there's a better way
It's alright...they're okay
They're not afraid they'll fade away
Another wasted unfortunate end
Another violent sky overhead
Another sundown burning red
And it's going down hard...like them

Given good ground to walk around on
It would mean so much to me to see
Things for my still young self or else
I might not believe whatever people
Say in their own ways, colourful faces
And easy going shame almost telling me
Things I need to know
We're travelling, looking for the world
Thinking in different words

I'm not leaving you
No way friend, you'd ever last
Yo no voye
Sweet earth boy
You'll have to think and wait
Given wide skies to search and fly
It would sure seem to me that it's so 
Full of everything, either seen or unseen
Endless night displays, cosmic death rays
That hold your feet in place while
Your mind runs away
What I didn't know is that no one's going
This old bus sits while jungles laugh and sing
Nobody filled me in